Tuesday, June 8, 2010

it's late now but i can't get into any sleep . i wondered why is it that facing you will hurt so much ? there's so much things that i wanna say , so much things that i wanna shout out loud. but i can't anymore .. i can't . i'm not gonna say anything , i'll just keep quiet from now on . i don't want anybody to know anything about me anymore . i'm tired of being a troublemaker. i'll be someone that everyone would wish to be , to suit that particular someone . to become someone that no one will know anymore . i want to be unknown , i want to be a stranger. no one shall understands me , no one shall know my feelings, no one shall know anything about me . i don't know where is trust. trust has run away from it's home which is me . i'm searching for it . but still i can't find it . i've reported it to the police and they're trying to help me find it. i still can't find so i'm waiting at home for it to come back to me when the time is right. sometimes , things won't be going the same way as what you want it to go and of course some things are better left unsaid. i've tried my best to change , to stop what i'd once did. to change for the better that will suit you. to become a better person for everyone . i will be someone you want me to be , someone who listens to only you, someone that closes their ears and that little gaps for others . i'm forcing yet still trying my best .. i'll make it , please don't worry about me and please , never ask me to speak out what's in my heart. i'll never say because i can't . my emotions and thoughts are all controlled by you and the only thing i can do is obey you .



How should i start, by telling you the truth or lie on you, Running away from my existence or search for my refuge should I tell you about my sin or hide it till it become a virtue, will it happen or I still fly in my Disney world. Don’t ask me why? how? When? I wish I could have those answers for myself. I always though that what happens happen for a reason but now I can say that there is no reason for what happened. Nothing hurt more than when you finally find your home but you’re not eligible to enter it, when you finally find your food and you’re starving but you will get sick if you eat it, when you finally find yourself and your happiness but it is prohibited on you. What made me mad about you that even I barely know you, I feel like you were the lost twin part of myself that I searched for since my existence on the earth. What hurt me more that I need you to hear me, I need you to read my thoughts but it is not my right, I always did things right and I cant understand why now I did it wrong? is that because it was you ?or because it is simply me?



I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me


My eyes faked my heart .
posted by Babyypacifierx. on 12:44 AM